Longing
by Love Of My Life
Summary: What we wish for is in our grasp if only we would have the courage to reach out for it.
1. Default Chapter

Longing  
by Love Of My Life

**Rating:** PG-13  
**Category:** Max/? Sorry but you will have to read it to find out.  
**Disclaimer:** Nothing Roswell is mine. If only...  
**Summary:** No spoilers. All of season 2 up to and incl. Viva Las Vegas. What we wish for is in our grasp if only we would have the courage to reach out for it.  
**Distribution:** You can always ask, who knows I might say yes.

* * *

  
**Part 1**   


It is hard to constrain your feelings for someone if you can hardly bear to be in the same room with them. But what could he do, he surely couldn't kick her out. One of the worst storms he had ever seen is playing havoc outside. Though it is slowly killing him he would have to bear her presence.  
  
Outside the storm is building in intensity, making the two people inside very much aware of the storm building inside as well. The air is electric, driving them both insane. They are both on edge. The slightest thing could set them of at each other. Would they be able to hold back or would their feelings erupt like the weather outside. They will soon know.  
  
How would she be able to hold back for much longer? Everything she always wanted was in her reach if only it wasn't for that other woman in his life. Could she take the risk? Should she really go for it, no matter what?  
  
With the rain beating down on the motel room and the wind gusts shaking the building it was almost frightening. It was making the two people in the room more and more nervous. Not wanting to acknowledge the other's presence for fear that they could no longer hold back the emotions warring inside them.  
  
'Max would you please stop pacing around you're making me nervous'.  
  
'What? What does it matter what I do, you're making me nervous tapping your fingers on the table all the time.'  
  
'Okay I get the hint. I'll stop tapping my fingers and you'll sit down.'  
  
'Whatever.'  
  
Max moves over to go sit on the bed.  
  
'Thank you'. 'Could we please talk about something, the storm is driving me crazy and this silence isn't helping. I need some kind of diversion.'  
  
Max looks at her indifferently 'What do you want to talk about?'  
  
'I don't know, what about us?'  
  
'There is no us, I thought by now you of all people should know that.' He says harshly.  
  
'Please Max don't be like that.'  
  
'Like what? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?' He says disdainfully. 'Well isn't it?'  
  
'No Max it isn't.' She says sadly. 'But what can I do?'  
  
'There is nothing you can do, anyway I think you've done enough.'  
  
'Max, please?' she pleads.  
  
'No, we've talked about this before and frankly there is nothing left to say. You got what you wanted; now you have to live with it. I'm going to sleep. You can do whatever you want.'  
  
Max walks into the bathroom and closes the door quietly, which has more effect than if he had slammed the door. She slumps down in her chair and brushes her hand over her weary eyes. No, this most definitely wasn't what she wanted. She leans back in her chair and sighs as if the whole world was resting on her shoulders. How much more could she take?  
  
He comes back into the room carrying his clothes in his hands only wearing his boxers. He throws his clothes on the other chair. Sitting on the bed, he turns towards her.  
  
'You didn't expect me to play the gentleman now did you and sleep in a chair all night? I need my sleep. If you don't like it you can take the chair or sleep on the floor. I don't care it's up to you.'  
  
She silently goes into the bathroom to prepare for bed. She looks in the mirror and starts to brush her teeth. How did it come to this? What did she do to deserve this? She didn't fight destiny like the others did. She accepted it and this is what she got for it. She is taken aback by the sadness she sees reflected in the mirror. This sure wasn't how she expected it to be. She thought things to be easier now after all that had happened. That he had come to terms with his destiny but apparently not.  
  
This is going to be one difficult night. She doesn't think she will be able to fall asleep easily. But sure as hell she isn't going to sleep in a chair or on the floor. If he could bear to sleep in the same bed with her than she most definitely could do the same. After finishing in the bathroom she turns off the light and steps into the bedroom to find the room dark except for a small light on the nightstand on 'her' side of the bed, as if he was challenging her to lie in the bed beside him. Humph. She could do it. She quietly walks over to the bed and slips under the bedcovers. He is lying on his side with his back turned to her as if he couldn't bear to see her. Well if that was how he feels she could do the same so she lies down on her side with her back to him.

---


	2. Part 2

Longing  
by Love Of My Life

**Rating:** PG-13  
**Category:** Max/? Sorry but you will have to read it to find out.  
**Disclaimer:** Nothing Roswell is mine. If only...  
**Summary:** No spoilers. All of season 2 up to and incl. Viva Las Vegas. What we wish for is in our grasp if only we would have the courage to reach out for it.  
**Distribution:** You can always ask, who knows I might say yes.

* * *

  
**Part 2**   


The tension between them is almost tangible. Neither wants to be there. But what choice do they have. They have to wait out the storm and they both need their sleep so the best thing to do is to clench your teeth and get through it somehow. They both lay there wondering why their lives turned out the way they did. Eventually they drift off to sleep. They start to relax and unknowingly turnover on their backs to get more comfortable. Slowly their bodies find each other in the middle of the bed. Him lying on his back and she on her right side moving in even closer as if seeking his warmth, almost needing it, absorbing it. She moves closer to him resting her head on his bare chest and putting her left hand on his stomach. She snuggles closer still. He pulls her in tightly as if he never wants to let her go. His right hand moves over to cover the hand lying on his stomach and moving it up to his heart where it belongs.  
  
The sun rises throwing sunbeams across the two young people lying so closely together on the bed, almost as if they are one being. They lazily stir feeling the warmth of the sun on their skin. Max opens his eyes and sees what happened during the night. His breath catches in his throat. Her beauty is captivating. He wants to caress the soft skin of her cheeks. He longs to kiss her eyelids, her forehead, her throat and her lips, especially her lips. He realizes that he is still holding his breath. He lets the air escape and draws in a fresh breath of air. He looks at her once more and tries to ease away because he feels he has to resist her. He doesn't want to be drawn in by her beauty. But when he carefully tries to remove his arm from beneath her head he sees her eyes flutter and open. He freezes unable to move. He is caught in the gaze of her beautiful eyes. She realizes what must have happened during the night. Their bodies had sought each other out and they had lain like that all night. A blush creeps up on her soft cheeks.  
  
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, you have to believe me.' She stammers.  
  
Max realizes that she is trying to apologize for the fact that their bodies had sought each other out during the night as if he would accuse her for doing it on purpose. He couldn't really blame her for that. He blamed her for a lot lately. His right hand rises up as of it's own volition and he puts his index finger to her lips.  
  
'Ssshh, I know, you don't have to say anything. It just happened.'  
  
His thumb moves over her lips, he can't resist their softness. He feels the heat rising in his body as he continues caressing her lips. He can't help himself. He can't bring himself to remove his fingers from her face. A force takes control of him and he can't do anything but go with it. She looks up at him with those soft eyes. He sees her longing reflected there for him. She doesn't protest or try to move away from his touch.  
  
Slowly he bends to let his mouth take over from his hand. As his lips touched hers he feels his heart rate increase tenfold. He draws her even closer with his left hand on her back, his right hand moves to the back of her head to bring her even closer to his mouth as if that was possible. He takes her lower lip between his teeth and bites her softly as if he wants to brand her as his. He hears her moan and draws back to see if he had maybe hurt her. He looks in her eyes but all he sees is passion burning in her eyes. Just for him.  
  
He draws her back in again and she puts her arms around his neck to get as close to him as she can. They lay there, passion overtaking every move they make. They feel the heat rising in their bodies. They know they shouldn't be doing this but they can no longer deny the urgency of their feelings. Max kisses her passionately. His tongue seeks hers feverishly. He is unable to get enough of her. He loves to kiss her but it is no longer enough. He needs more of her, to taste her, to see all of her. As he withdraws from her lips she moans in protest and tries to bring his mouth back to hers.  
  
'Sshh, I'm not going anywhere, I couldn't, not now. Nothing can keep me away from you.'  
  
She smiles at him happily. She knows that he will stay with her, make love to her. He removes her arms from around his neck so he can move them over to the middle of the bed. He makes her sit up for a moment. He takes the hem of the shirt she had been sleeping in. He doesn't hear her protest or see anything else but the passionate look in her eyes. He slowly removes her shirt only stopping a short moment when he sees her beautiful breasts for the first time. Then he takes of her shirt in one quick motion. She is now naked from the waist up. She suddenly feels embarrassed by his gaze and tries to hide her nakedness. She tries to cross her arms before her chest. He stops her before she can finish the motion. He looks at her admiringly, gently holding her wrists in his hands.  
  
'Don't, you don't need to be embarrassed. You're beautiful.'  
  
'You really think so?'  
  
'Yes, you truly are.'  
  
A soft shy smile slowly brightens her face. He thinks that she looks even more beautiful if that was even possible. He slowly pushes her back on the bed again. His hands slowly moving up from her wrists caressing her arms all the way to her shoulders and over her collarbone to finally come to rest on both sides of her face. His body covers hers .The feeling is indescribable. Most of his weight is still on his elbows, which rested now beside her shoulders. His breath catches in his throat once again seeing the look of pure unadulterated love in her eyes. Love for him. He slowly puts his forehead to rest against hers as he gently settles his body on hers. He sighs her name as reverent as a prayer.

---


	3. Part 3

Longing  
by Love Of My Life

**Rating:** PG-13  
**Category:** Max/? Sorry but you will have to read it to find out.  
**Disclaimer:** Nothing Roswell is mine. If only...  
**Summary:** No spoilers. All of season 2 up to and incl. Viva Las Vegas. What we wish for is in our grasp if only we would have the courage to reach out for it.  
**Distribution:** You can always ask, who knows I might say yes.

* * *

  
**Part 3**   


'Liz.'  
  
As he finally says her name tears start running down her face, she can no longer hold them back. How she had longed to be with him like this, but after all that had happened, it didn't seem possible. Even after she told him everything that had happened that faithful day he had caught her in bed with Kyle. He had closed himself of from her; unable to forgive her for the pain she had caused him. Although he said he understood why she had done it, even agreed with her that she had to do it. There was a rift between them that seemed to grow greater each day.  
  
Being in the same room together became almost unbearable, both unable to hold back the longing glances. But every time she had made a move in his direction he would turn and walk away. Eventually she couldn't take it any longer and began to avoid him wherever she could. She didn't understand what was going on with Max. She thought that once he knew the truth things between them would change for the better but she was wrong. It wasn't as if she had had a choice. It was almost worse than before.  
  
At least now also the others knew, once she had told Max she decided the others might as well know. They were amazed by the story she told them but they believed her. They were humbled by what she had done for them, had been willing to sacrifice so that they could live. They thanked her for what she had done, done for them. They also didn't understand Max's behavior. He didn't even want to talk to Isabel or Michael about it. He closed himself off from everyone.  
  
This went on for three weeks until by some unforeseen circumstances they were forced to drive to Marathon, Texas. They needed to retrieve some documents they believed belonged to Atherton. Sheriff Valenti received information that these documents were at the Marathon Library. So after a meeting it was decided that Max and Liz would go and get them, because none of the others seemed to be able to go. As if they didn't know what their friends were trying to do, they were put in a situation where they couldn't avoid each other any longer. They would finally have to talk to each other to resolve this mess.  
  
b They didn't know how uncharacteristically stubborn Max could be. He hadn't spoken to her all the way to Marathon beyond what was necessary, that is. After a grueling nerve-wracking ride to Marathon they found out that the information was false. There were no papers from Atherton at the Library. Their moods darkened. When they got caught in a storm on the way back to Roswell they were forced to stop at a motel for the night. Everything that had happened up until now is just too much for Liz to bear. After hearing Max whispering her name with such emotion she finally lets go of all the pent-up feelings. She can no longer hold back her tears. She cries for herself for all that she had to suffer over the last few months and for Max for the pain she had put him through no matter how valid the reason. It is just too much.  
  
'Sssh Love, it's okay, everything is going to be alright.'  
  
But Liz keeps on crying. Max moved from Liz to sit with his back against the headboard. He draws Liz on his lap so he could hold her tightly against his chest as she cries. He draws the blankets over their legs pulling her in even closer. He puts his right arm around her. His other hand is in her beautiful auburn hair. He pulls her face against his chest.  
  
'I'm here and I'm never going to let you go again, just let it all out. I'm here.'  
  
He softly kisses the crown of her head and as he leans his head against the wall tears are streaming down his own face. Finally she was in his arms where she belonged. He vowed then and there that no matter what, no one would ever separate him again from his soul mate. For he was finally where he wanted to be. Holding the woman he loves beyond anything in the world, close to his heart. He is finally home.  
  
He hears her crying dying down, as the final tears almost subside. He hears her sigh as if the weight of the world has dropped from her shoulders. She brakes away from his firm grasp on her tiny body and she looks at him.  
  
'I'm sorry I cried all over you but I just couldn't hold it back anymore.'  
  
Her eyes clear up from her tears and she can focus them again: she sees that she wasn't the only one who was crying. She reaches out and wipes away his tears. He isn't embarrassed for these are honest emotions they share and when there is true love there is no need to hide what you really feel. She reaches out one final time to wipe away the last of his tears. He catches her hand before she can reach his cheeks. He turns her hand and kisses it.  
  
'What did you do that for?'  
  
He looks down at her with glowing eyes. 'For being here with me, for being who you are. For allowing me to love you even after what I did to you.'  
  
Now she is confused. 'Did to me? Max you didn't do anything. I was the one who hurt you. I rejected you time after time, turned my back on you when you reached out to me.'  
  
'Only because I asked you to.'  
  
Then the realization hits her. He feels guilty for what his future self had asked her to do. For the pain this had caused her. Her eyes overflow with tears once again.  
  
'Oh you wonderful, wonderful man. Don't you see? I would do anything for you. I would do everything in my power to keep you safe. I would die for you.'  
  
Max closes his eyes in sheer happiness realizing what she just said. It touches him deep inside of his soul the depth of her love for him: the alien, the hybrid, the freak. He draws her back in his arms and they sit like that for a long time. They are safe once again in each other's arms. For they know that as long as they are together they can handle anything fate throws at them. The impossible longing has ended, for once again they are one.

THE END


End file.
